C

So Long, So Wrong - Hiro/Charlie fanvid

2008-02-25T03:30:53Z

Title: So Long, So Wrong
Fandom: Heroes
Pairing: Hiro/Charlie
Song: "So Long, So Wrong" by Alison Krauss
Spoilers: through S1E10, novel Saving Charlie

I recently read the book Saving Charlie and was inspired to make a video using the song that was "their song" in the book. I hope you like it!

Eternal Sunshine - Chapter 4

2008-02-12T05:12:28Z

Title: Eternal Sunshine (4/12)
Fandom: Heroes
Word Count: 1,000 this chapter (~4,300 so far)
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Claire, ensemble
Rating: R
Spoilers: through S2E11

Watch the trailer here!

Summary: Claire Bennet wakes up one morning with with no memory of the day before. Terrified by the thoughts of what might have happened to her during those missing hours, she and Peter embark on a journey to discover the truth.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

*****

In these deep solitudes and awful cells,
Where heav'nly-pensive contemplation dwells,
And ever-musing melancholy reigns;
What means this tumult in a vestal's veins?

*****

Claire opened her eyes and winced at the bright California sun.

“Well, that was different,” she said as she stepped out of Peter’s arms and looked around her.

Peter had used many of his powers around and with Claire before, but he’d never teleported the both of them. She was surprised to note that she barely felt it physically when Peter moved them from New York to California. She thought she would feel squeezed or pulled or strained somehow. Instead, it was like she blinked her eyes in her apartment and opened her eyelids to the sight of Zach’s apartment building. It was amazing.

It was still early morning here and the streets were silent except for the sound of chirping birds. The air felt warm and fresh, and Claire reveled in the contrast. Her problems, for a moment, seemed lighter here. She wondered why she ever left California to move to New York.

A groan to her left reminded her why: Peter.

He was bent over, clutching his knees. His eyes were closed and he was taking slow, deep breaths.

“Peter, are you okay?” Claire asked softly as she turned towards him and put a hand on his shoulder.

His eyes snapped open and his head tilted towards her. For a second his eyes were full of intense pain as he looked at her. The look felt familiar, but Claire couldn’t remember ever seeing it before.

“Peter?”

He blinked, nodded at her, and straightened. Peter took a deep breath and smiled at her, the pain now gone from his eyes.

“I’m fine. I’m just not used to teleporting two people. It’s a little intense. You all right?”

“I didn’t feel anything,” Claire responded, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. “I just blinked and
we were here.”

She was about to say that it didn’t make sense, but then she saw the way that Peter was looking at her and it made complete sense. Somehow, maybe even subconsciously, he’d absorbed the pressure of the teleport or protected her from it. Peter had suffered to protect her like he always had. Claire suspected that he would always put her needs before his own.

That realization – that Peter suffered because of her – was unsettling. She, however indirectly, was the cause of the look of pain in his eyes a few moments ago.

“I’m sorry,” Claire said.

Peter looked surprised and confused. He ran a hand through his hair before he spoke.

“Sorry about what?” he asked.

A million things, Claire wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that she was sorry he’d died because of her and he’d been hurt because of her. She wanted to apologize for everything she’d ever done to cause him pain.

“Nothing,” she replied instead.

Peter didn’t look like he believed her, but nodded anyway and held out his hand. Claire reached out and grasped his hand firmly, like holding hands was something they did everyday.

“Let’s go find Zach,” Peter said as he pulled her in the direction of the apartment building in front of them.

They were halfway to Zach’s building by the time Claire stopped thinking about how perfectly her hand fit in Peter’s. Claire could only ever remember holding Peter’s hand when they were running from immediate danger. They’d never held hands in the bright sunlight as if it was normal behavior.

Even now, as they approached Zach’s door and slowed to a stop, Peter didn’t waver or release his grip. Instead, he squeezed her hand tight once before knocking on the door.

Claire was the one that let her hand drop as soon as the door opened.

If Peter had any reaction to Claire pulling her hand from his, she didn’t notice. The look on Zach’s face when he opened the door reminded her exactly why she was here. It wasn’t for bright sun and holding hands. It was for something terrifying and horrible that Claire had momentarily pushed to the back of her mind.

“Claire?” Zach gasped before pulling her into a hug. “Thank god! Thank god you’re all right.”

Claire said Zach’s name into his shirt and held him tight. The tears started to well up in her eyes as her best friend, a man she loved like family, stroked a hand up and down her back and held her liked he’d been afraid he would never see her again.

Zach would be able to help her. She had called him for a reason and he would know what that reason was. She had faith in him, like he had always had faith in her. Zach and Peter would help her figure this out. They had to.

“What happened to you, Claire?”

Claire shook her head against Zach’s chest, not able to say the words that she needed Zach to hear if he was going to be able to help her.

What happened? She had no idea.

Claire opened her eyes and lifted her head from Zach’s shoulder and turned to look at Peter, who was still standing outside the open doorway.

“Tell him.”

Claire thought the words loudly and directly, looking straight at Peter when she did. She knew, somehow, that he would hear her even if he hadn’t been listening to her thoughts, which she had always specifically forbade him from doing. He would hear her because she wanted him to. He would hear her because he was always there for her when she needed him. Now, in this moment, she needed him to voice the words that she couldn’t. Maybe it made her a coward, but she asked this favor of Peter anyway.

“Claire, what happened?” Zach whispered into her hair.

Claire saw Peter’s slight nod and watched him step forward to answer Zach.

“That,” Peter said, “is what we hope you can help us figure out.”

*****

A/N: Don't worry, next chapter we'll actually find out some information! This was actually meant to be the first half of chapter four, but it got a little long so I had to split the chapter in half. The wait for the next chapter is going to be a little longer, unfortunately, because I'm going to be out of town for a week. Thanks to all of you that are reading and reviewing this story!

Eternal Sunshine - Chapter 3

2008-02-04T04:15:24Z

Title: Eternal Sunshine (3/12)
Fandom: Heroes
Word Count: 1,200 this chapter (~3,300 so far)
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Claire, ensemble
Rating: R
Warnings: incest, sexual situations, angst
Spoilers: through S2E11

Watch the trailer here!

Summary: Claire Bennet wakes up one morning with with no memory of the day before. Terrified by the thoughts of what might have happened to her during those missing hours, she and Peter embark on a journey to discover the truth.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

*****

Then share thy pain, allow that sad relief;
Ah, more than share it! give me all thy grief.

*****

Peter’s concern for Claire was his only thought as he caught a taxi to her apartment, too worried to trust his teleporting abilities. The only other time he remembered hearing Claire so distraught was when she held a gun in his direction.

“My choice was save the world or save you,” she told him after he returned from Ireland, “I wanted to do both. I couldn’t lose you.”

Once he got to her apartment, he bypassed the elevator and ran up the stairs, finally stopping when he reached the third floor. Peter reached out mentally as he approached the door, feeling her frantic worry among the generally calm thoughts of the residents around her.

“Claire, I’m almost there.”

He pushed the thought into her mind and felt a slight, almost unnoticeable, relaxation. Without bothering to knock, he slipped his hand through the door and turned the deadbolt.

Peter opened the door and walked inside, noting the darkness of Claire’s apartment. It was usually bright and cheerful here, with all of the curtains thrown open and music blasting. The space was cold and silent now, absent of life. The lights were off and a cold mug of tea sat alone on the kitchen counter.

“Claire?” Peter called as he moved to her bedroom. There wasn’t a response. He knew she was in there, he felt her at the corner of his mind, but the lack of an answer was jarring.

With care he pushed open the door and entered her room.

The room that Claire usually kept fairly neat was in messy disarray. There were books and clothes all over the floor, a ripped poster hanging on the wall, and a broken picture frame containing a photo of Peter and Claire was lying on the comforter next to Claire.

Claire sat curled up in the corner of her bed staring away from him, at the window. The city noises from outside – police sirens, cars honking, and people shouting – drifted into the room, but it still felt too silent. Too still.

“Claire.”

He said her name softly, not wanting to frighten her. He said it imploringly, with hopes that she would turn around and help him figure out how he could help her.

“Claire.”

He called her name with his mind, reaching out to her, and it was then that she turned around. Her eyes and nose were red, her face was streaked with tears, and she looked broken.

“Peter,” she gasped, voice cracking, before walking over and throwing herself into his arms.

She mumbled Peter’s name into the soft cotton of his shirt and clung to him with a desperation that surprised him.

He held her tight in his arms and rubbed a hand up and down her back as his other hand stroked soft strands of hair.

“I’m here, Claire,” he whispered into the hair above her ear. He didn’t say that it was going to be all right because he didn’t know if it was. They had lived through too much for false promises.

“I always feel safe when I’m with you, Peter.”

Her thoughts were loud and intentionally directed at him, like she knew he was listening. Claire had told him off many times for listening to her thoughts without permission, however unintentionally he’d done it, but now she was communicating with him that way like it was second nature to her.

They stood there hugging for a long time. It could have been minutes or it could have been hours. It felt timeless.

Just like he had over the phone, Peter mumbled the same phrase over and over again, only this time it was “I’m here.” Slowly, inch by inch, he felt her relax in his arms. She took a deep breath and pulled away. He had a hard time letting her go, letting her step out of his reach when he didn’t know if she was ready.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, “I should be stronger than this.”

Her teary eyes were determined as they looked up at him and Peter felt a wave of love, not for the first time in his life, for this girl with the sad little smile. He wanted to protect her, even when he knew she could protect herself.

“Claire,” he replied. “You are strong. You’re one of the strongest people I know.”

She laughed through the tears and Peter smiled. Claire, the Claire he knew, was meant to be smiling and laughing.

“Peter Petrelli, that is such a lie.”

Peter shook his head.

“It’s not a lie. It’s the truth. I know that I said all those years ago when you were leaving for France that you can’t be hurt…”

Peter could tell by the look on Claire’s face that she was remembering that day when she’d been ready to leave and he convinced her to stay with talks of destiny and saving the world.

“…but I was wrong, Claire,” he continued. “You can be hurt and you have been hurt so many times and yet you always bounce back. And I don’t just mean physically. You go through all these horrible things and you still always manage to put a smile back on your face. It’s amazing, Claire. You really are one of the strongest people I know.”

She smiled and put her arms around him once again.

“Thank you, Peter,” she whispered. “I still don’t quite believe you, but thank you.”

Peter picked up a stray thought of Claire’s as she hugged him tight. He didn’t think that she meant him to hear this one.

“I want to be that girl.”

The desperation in Claire’s thought pulled at him and he hugged her closer.

“We’ll figure it out, Claire.”

She nodded into his chest, likely trying to convince herself that they would figure it out.

“Maybe we should go see your father,” Peter suggested. Noah Bennet, with all his connections, might be able to help them figure out what had happened or where to go next.

“We can’t tell my father,” Claire replied adamantly. “He made a deal to keep me safe from the Company.”

Peter’s jaw clenched as he remembered the deal Claire’s father had made and the destruction that decision wrought. Noah Bennet was a good man and Peter understood the decisions he made to protect his family, but that didn’t mean Peter had to like those decisions, especially when they came at the expense of his brother.

“If he knew something had happened…” she continued. “I can’t put that guilt on him. Talking to my father is a last resort.”

Peter nodded.

“We have to talk to Zach,” Claire insisted, her voice strong. “You have to bring me to see Zach.”

He wanted to save her, this girl who was no longer a cheerleader. She was his friend, his niece, and once upon a time she’d been his destiny. He couldn’t deny her anything.

“Don’t let go,” he warned Claire, before closing his eyes and teleporting them to a small apartment building on the outskirts of Los Angeles.

*****

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this chapter and the way everything is unfolding. Thanks to all of you that have been commenting. I really appreciate it!

Next Chapter

Reading Chuck Bartowski

2008-01-26T00:14:11Z

Title: Reading Chuck Bartowski
Fandom: Chuck
Characters/Pairing: Sarah/Chuck
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,458
Spoilers: through Chuck vs. the Marlin

Summary: One of Sarah’s favorite pastimes is reading Chuck Bartowski.

A/N: I’m excited to have written another Chuck fic and I hope all of you like it! Takes place after Chuck vs. the Marlin. Also, although I didn’t write this as a contribution for the dont_freakout Valentine’s Day fic challenge (I plan on writing something else for the challenge), one of the prompts makes a very brief appearance. ;)

Reading Chuck Bartowski

Over the past few months, Sarah has learned to read Chuck. Tiny signals representing his thoughts and emotions are hidden in every movement of his body and every shift in his facial expression. Sometimes when she looks at him, his eyes are intense and focused on her. Sarah knows in those moments that Chuck is trying to read her the way that she can read him.

Sometimes she thinks that Chuck can read more of her signals that she intended him to see. She lets down her guard around him and things fall through the breach between business and personal. She does exactly what she shouldn’t do…and fails to heed the lesson that Bryce Larkin taught her: Don’t get personal.

Only it’s already personal with Chuck. Maybe it has been from the beginning.

Sarah has felt connected to Chuck almost from the start. She wonders if that connection really has to do with him, or if she just needed to connect to someone so strongly and he was there.

Sarah was never a desperate girl, so she surprises herself when she reaches out to Chuck. He doesn’t know anything about her, but Sarah slowly fills in characteristics of Chuck’s personality around all the facts she’s memorized from his file.

They’re such an odd pair, him and her. And not because he doesn’t deserve her or isn’t in her league, like she’s overheard some of his coworkers gossiping. If anything, Chuck’s in a higher league than her. She’s done so many bad and difficult things in her life that being Sarah Walker – Chuck’s Sarah Walker – feels like a vacation.

It wasn’t boring being Sarah Walker, like Carina thought. It was comfortable like the soft blue quilt that her grandma had given her when she was seven. Like that quilt, being Sarah Walker felt like home.

It was a silly thing, reminiscing about a quilt that she hadn’t seen in years. Chuck made her remember the details of a past that she wasn’t supposed to admit to. He’d started breaking down the walls she built so carefully in order to become anonymous.

Chuck had asked, in the beginning, if she could tell him something real. He wanted to know anything about her and the tone of his voice when he asked tugged at her heart. She shouldn’t have said anything, but wanted to tell Chuck everything. The desire to open up to him broke through one of her carefully constructed walls and she whispered her middle name when he was just out of reach.

Sarah chastises herself every time she slips up and lets something real escape her lips. Most of the time Chuck doesn’t notice. When he gives her a questioning stare that lasts a moment too long, she can tell that he knows. They never talk about it – her truth – but it lies between them, expanding and contracting based on the day.

His truth is like an open book. She likes to read it over and over again because it makes her feel safe, like she’s finally standing on solid ground. Whenever Sarah discovers a footnote or chapter she’s missed, it’s exciting and a little bit scary. She’s the one that’s supposed to be a mystery, not him.

Sarah analyzes Chuck not because of her job – although she supposes that should be the reason – but because he fascinates her. In everything that he finds normal and boring, Sarah sees new and exciting. Eating pizza together, watching movies, game night…those are everyday events that Sarah isn’t used to. Chuck navigates those activities with the ease of someone who’s had years of experience. Sarah manages well with all of her training, pretending like those events aren’t out of the ordinary, but it’s been a long time since anything felt normal to her.

After years of tension and uncertainty, being with Chuck made Sarah feel normal in the best possible sense of the word. Sometimes, when she looked in his eyes, Sarah could imagine life without the CIA.

That fact, more than anything else, scares her.

Sarah’s life is the CIA. It had been the CIA, ever since she was recruited in college. She didn’t have anything else. Her parents are gone and she’d left her friends behind. Sarah erased herself in order to become a blank slate. Eventually she got so used to pretending to be someone else that she lost herself. She became someone that her seven-year-old quilt-hugging self would never have recognized. She’s manipulated people, closed herself in emotionally, and even killed people…many people. It was all in the name of the greater good, but over the years the idea of a greater good became hazy and gray.

Chuck is pure and idealistic. It’s one of the things she loves about him. Not that, you know, she loves him. She cares for him more than she’s supposed to, but she wouldn’t…couldn’t…admit to anything more.

Chuck’s idealism leads him to be naïve and foolish. He doesn’t think things through and he makes so many mistakes. His moments of bravery endanger them all, but they’ve also saved her life. Chuck broke the rules all the time – and would never stay in the car – because of determination and hope.

Chuck isn’t perfect, Sarah knows that, but at times he seems annoyingly close.

He reminds her of the optimism she used to feel about life so long ago before Bryce, the CIA, and the loss of her parents. Sometimes Sarah gets carried away by the feelings that Chuck inspires in her and allows it to cloud her judgment. She even let jealousy affect her. Sarah allowed her frustration about Lou stop her from trusting him. When the positions were reversed and she had to spend time flirting with Lon Kirk, she accused him of the very same things she’d been guilty of when he was with Lou: of jealousy and compromising a mission. She accused him of sabotage and questioned his integrity because she never took the time to read the signs she’d been so carefully categorizing.

With all the recent tension between her and Chuck, she forgot how to read him.

That realization shook her more than she cared to admit. Somewhere along the way (probably after that earth-shattering kiss with Chuck and the revelation that Bryce was still alive), Sarah lost the control she’d learned to guard so carefully and everything went topsy-turvy.

Normally, she would have gathered the control she had left and held it tighter. Instead, Sarah let herself relax just slightly. It was a barely perceptible change, but it made a world of difference.

Sarah started to read Chuck’s signals again and she realized that future she saw in his eyes didn’t scare her as much as it had before. He shook her hand and said that they were friends, but in the duration of his grip and the softness of his smile, Sarah could see that he meant more.

She didn’t mind.

Maybe she had to almost lose him before she realized what they really had.

Chuck’s extraction pulled away additional protective layers for the both of them. She barely kept from crying as she bargained for more time, and Chuck asked her out on a date to his underground cell. He asked her to hang out and she knew that he was really saying “I think I might love you. Stay by my side.”

Sarah had an epiphany as she held Chuck’s hands on that rooftop and read his caring expression like a favorite novel: She wasn’t drawn to Chuck because she was lonely and desperate. She wasn’t even drawn to him because she was the type of girl, as Casey had noted, that fell for her partners.

Sarah was drawn to Chuck because reading him came naturally. It wasn’t work to watch a smile crinkle the corner of his eyes or feel the care in his touch when he held her hand. It wasn’t difficult to notice that his voice softened whenever he said her name or to learn that he considers an Arcade Fire album to be a musical aphrodisiac and looks in her direction whenever one of their songs start playing. She loved the way that he told her “I know” when she said that congratulating Ellie and Awesome on their engagement was a family moment in a way that really meant “Sarah, you are family.”

She couldn’t accept the meaning behind his comment then because she was so close to losing her professional distance, but Sarah held onto that moment as she returned to her apartment. She held onto the promise that she read in his voice.

Sarah read a future of possibilities in Chuck Bartowski’s actions and movements. And although it probably wasn’t realistic, she hoped for a happy ending.

A/N: I look forward to hearing what you thought of the story!

Eternal Sunshine - Chapter 2

2008-01-25T23:31:51Z

Title: Eternal Sunshine (2/12?)
Fandom: Heroes
Word Count: 1,090 this chapter (2,111 so far)
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Claire, ensemble
Rating: R
Warnings: incest, sexual situations, angst
Spoilers: through S2E11

Watch the trailer here!

Summary: Claire Bennet wakes up one morning with with no memory of the day before. Terrified by the thoughts of what might have happened to her during those missing hours, she and Peter embark on a journey to discover the truth.

A/N: I forgot to mention it before, but the verses at the beginning of each chapter are from the Alexander Pope poem "Eloisa to Abelard".

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

*****

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd.

*****

Claire sat on top of her comforter with her knees drawn up to her chest trying to think of a plan. A plan would give her structure and structure would make her feel less adrift. She should probably take a shower, but didn’t want to move yet. The phone rang again, but she didn’t reach for it. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone until she felt somewhat steady.

Maybe if she could retrace her steps, everything would fall into place. What did she last remember? It had to be Saturday because yesterday was Friday. She remembered that much. She remembered waking up, reading the paper, checking her e-mail, and calling Zach. She didn’t remember what she and Zach talked about. In fact, she couldn’t remember anything past dialing his phone number. She couldn’t remember talking to him and she couldn’t remember the rest of her day. The harder she tried to remember, the more painful her headache became.

Claire looked around the room. It was messier than she remembered. T-shirts and sweatpants that she didn’t remember wearing were piled on the floor next to her laundry basket and a pink blanket was strewn on the floor at the foot of her bed. A poster of the New York City skyline near the door was torn in half with both ends hanging loosely from the wall. Her dresser drawers were open and disheveled. A few books and a picture frame had fallen out of her bookshelf and were now scattered on the carpet.

Claire got out of bed and walked over to the bookshelf. She picked up the fallen novels and reached for the silver frame. The glass had broken during the fall and left a spider web fracture over Peter’s face. The picture had been taken of them two years ago when she’d just signed for this appointment. They both looked so happy in that picture. Claire felt a sudden burst of anger at whoever had broken it.

Someone else had been in her apartment, someone who didn’t care about the destruction of her personal property. Someone who did something, any number of somethings, to her. Claire felt violated and shaky.

She wanted to curl up into a ball, tighter and tighter, until nothing could touch her. She wanted to be numb and alone and fall back asleep. Claire wanted to sleep until she could forget how scared she was. She would risk the nightmares in her dreams to avoid the nightmare that she was living.

Claire looked at the shattered photo in her hands. She could see Peter’s crooked smile through the broken glass and made a choice. She wanted to be alone, but she needed to see him. Claire had reached out to Peter in every difficult moment in her life.

He had saved her from Sylar and died to protect her.

“You’re totally my hero,” she told him flirtatiously.

When she was on the run from the company, she tried to find him.

“Peter Petrelli cares about me!” she insisted to the Haitian.

When they had the weight of the world on their shoulders, she leaned on him.

“When I met you, I finally felt like I was a part of something,” she said through her tears.

Except for the times when they’d been forced apart, Peter Petrelli had always been there for Claire. She needed him now, needed someone to hold on to, someone to steady her when she felt like falling apart. Claire needed Peter before she gave into the temptation to collapse in on herself.

Setting the picture frame down gently on the night stand, Claire sat on her bed and reached for her cell phone.

7 Messages.

She absently dialed her voicemail and entered her passcode.

The first voice she heard was her father’s.

“Claire, your mother and I wanted to know when you’re going to be able to come for a visit. Check your schedule and call me back. Love you, Claire Bear.”

Beep.

“Claire, it’s Zach. I need to buy my tickets tonight so I hope you asked for a few days off like you said you would. Don’t forget, you promised we’d go see the Colbert Report. Later.”

Beep.

“It’s Peter. The movie’s sold out, so I hope it’s fine if we just rent something and order Chinese. I’ll be back from work at six so you can come over any time after that.”

Beep.

“I hope you’re okay, Claire. I got your message, but I couldn’t make out much of what you were saying because you were crying so badly. I’m really worried about you. Call me back. Please.”

Beep.

“Claire, it’s Peter. I came by your apartment today and you weren’t there. We need to talk. Call me.”

Beep.

“It’s Zach again. You never called me back and that message...I'm worried about you. You know that if I have to come to New York to track you down, I will. Call me, Claire. I’ll be there next Saturday, but I really don’t want to wait that long to make sure you’re okay.”

Beep.

“Hi Claire, it’s Susie. I wanted to make sure you got home all right last night. You seemed pretty upset when you left the club. I’ll see you at work on Monday.”

Beep.

Claire hung up on her voicemail and took a deep breath. She blinked and a single tear dripped down her cheek. She wiped the wetness with her free hand and blinked back the tears that were starting to pool in her eyes. The turn that the last few messages had taken concerned her.

Had she called Zach for help? Had she not been at home when Peter stopped by because she’d been kidnapped? Did they torture her? Push her to her limits like her dad always told her they would?

Shaking, Claire dialed the familiar number of her uncle.

“Hello,” he mumbled, his voice sounding husky from sleep.

“I don’t know what to do, something’s happened and I - ”

“Claire?”

“I can’t remember any of yesterday, it’s like it never happened. Something’s wrong, Peter. My room’s trashed and Zach left a message saying I’d called him crying and I don’t remember a single thing.”

Claire took a shaky breath. The room around her looked blurry through her tear-leaden eyes.

“What have they done to me?”

“I’ll be right there. Claire, I promise, I’ll be right there.”

Peter repeated the words over and over, his litany the only noise breaking through her sobs.

“I’ll be right there, Claire.”

“Hurry,” she whispered.

*****

A/N: Hope you liked the new chapter!

Next Chapter

Eternal Sunshine - Chapter 1

2008-01-22T21:41:03Z

Title: Eternal Sunshine (1/12?)
Word Count: 1,021
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Claire, ensemble
Rating: R
Warnings: incest, sexual situations, angst
Spoilers: through S2E11

Watch the trailer here!

Summary: Claire Bennet wakes up one morning with with no memory of the day before. Terrified by the thoughts of what might have happened to her during those missing hours, she and Peter embark on a journey to discover the truth.

A/N: Thanks to everyone that gave me feedback on the trailer! I loved reading your comments and hope you (and everyone else) enjoy the story itself. :)

Chapter 1

*****

Canst thou forget that sad, that solemn day,
When victims at yon altar's foot we lay?
Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell,
When, warm in youth, I bade the world farewell?

*****

Claire heard the ringing of the telephone before she opened her eyes. She blinked slowly and turned in the direction of the irritating sound. The dream she’d been having – it was about something important, she was sure – dispersed with the ring of the phone.

Who could be calling at this hour?

It had to be early. Her room was still darkened by shadows and her eyelids felt heavy. She felt sick to her stomach and her head hurt. The ringing stopped and the call went to voicemail. It probably wasn’t important. If it was, she would deal with it in the morning.

There was something she was supposed to remember, Claire thought with fleeting clarity. It was something she didn’t want to forget.

She curled back under her comforter and fell asleep.

*****

When Claire woke again, it was light out.

She got out of bed and threw open the curtains, wincing at the bright rays of sunshine. The clock on her nightstand read 10:30. Her alarm hadn’t gone off, so it must be the weekend.

What day was it anyway?

She trudged to kitchenette to make herself tea and tried to wake up. Her body clung desperately to the last vestiges of sleep and Claire was tempted to go back to bed. She would have, but the last thing she remembered before opening her eyes was the scream of her own voice. If going back to bed meant going back to a nightmare, Claire didn’t want anything to do with it.

She pulled a tea bag out of the cabinet and filled her favorite mug – an artsy blue and green one that Peter bought her – with water. Putting the tea bag into the mug, she slid it into the microwave and set the time. Her mother used to make tea with a kettle over the stove, but in the years that Claire had been living alone, she’d gotten lazy.

While the microwave buzzed, Claire tried to get a handle on things. She felt uncertain and confused. This apartment, or maybe it was her, was different somehow.

Claire shook her head at the last thought. She and the apartment were exactly the same as they had been when she went to sleep last night.

At least, she was fairly sure.

Only she didn’t remember going to sleep.

Had she gone out drinking last night?

Claire didn’t think so, but everything seemed a little off the way it always did after a night out. She wasn’t even in her pajamas, she realized vaguely. She was wearing her favorite jean skirt and a blue halter top. She was certainly dressed for going out. Why hadn’t she changed when she got home?

Had she gotten that drunk?

Claire clutched the kitchen counter to steady herself.

Something was wrong.

Nothing in this situation made sense. With Claire’s regenerative power, it took a lot for her to get drunk and she had never blacked out before. She couldn’t remember anything about last night. Not to mention the fact that she had a headache. She wasn’t supposed to get headaches. Not ones that lasted anyway.

Something was very wrong.

Claire ignored the beeping of the microwave and walked to the bathroom. She was intent on splashing some water on her face and waking up from this bad dream, but she caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror and stopped.

She had obviously dressed up for something. The remains of carefully applied makeup were smudged by sleep and mascara trailed down her face in long-dried tear tracks. Claire couldn’t remember crying.

Not remembering events was bad enough, but not remembering what had obviously been strong emotions scared her. This entire situation scared her. The only time Claire could remember feeling this disoriented was after the first time she died, returning from the darkness alone and afraid.

When she was younger, Claire had assumed that her regenerative abilities meant that she couldn’t be broken. Over the years she’d been proven wrong so many times – with the death of Jackie, the loss of Peter after the explosion, being forced into hiding, watching her father die right in front of her, and countless other moments. Claire’s irrepressible resolve fractured each time. She was no longer an invincible girl, she knew. Claire Bennet was a glued-together mosaic of broken pieces.

This nameless situation had the potential to shatter her once again. Amongst all the mystery, that was the one thing Claire was sure of.

She took a deep breath and promised herself that she would figure things out. She wouldn’t let the fear beat her before she even had a chance to fight. Even if what she found out could break her, Claire didn’t want to settle for the alternative. The dark gap of memory tainted every thought it touched and filled itself with the worst possibilities…possibilities that Claire didn’t even want to admit to thinking.

It wasn’t a night of drinking with friends. Even with the clothes, she was fairly sure of that. What if she’d been captured…kidnapped…experimented on? What if they’d…?

She couldn’t even finish the thought.

Claire looked at the mirror through the darkness of the dim bathroom. She barely recognized the sad girl in front of her. A couple of days ago she’d been happy and smiling. Zach had been planning a trip out to New York to see her, she’d been getting along with the girls at work, and she was going to go see a movie with Peter over the weekend.

Claire turned on the faucet and let the water fall untouched for a moment before breaking the flow with her hand and splashing the cool liquid on her face. She grabbed soap and a washcloth and slowly started to scrub the makeup of a night she couldn’t remember off her face. With care, she erased the tear tracks of a forgotten sadness and prayed for something to hold on to.

*****

A/N: I hope you liked it and look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Next Chapter

Eternal Sunshine - Fanfiction Trailer

2008-01-20T05:29:58Z

Hey everyone! I've started writing a new Peter/Claire fic that will probably run about 12 chapters (the longest Heroes story I've written yet). I've had this story idea for a while so I'm pretty excited about it. I've made a trailer and I hope you enjoy it. The first chapter will be posted in a few days.

Title: Eternal Sunshine (Fanfiction Trailer)
Fandom: Heroes
Characters/Pairing: Peter/Claire, ensemble
Song: "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson
Spoilers: through S2E11
Youtube link: here

Summary: Claire Bennet wakes up one morning with with no memory of the day before. Terrified by the thoughts of what might have happened to her during those missing hours, she and Peter embark on a journey to discover the truth.

I look forward to hearing what you think!

You Were Meant For Me - fanvid

2008-01-11T22:57:12Z

pcdarkrose asked that I make my next fanvid a Peter/Claire one and here's the result...

Title: You Were Meant For Me
Fandom: Heroes
Song: "You Were Meant For Me" by Jewel
Pairing/Characters: Claire-centric, Peter/Claire
Spoilers: through S2E11
Link: here

Dreams last for so long,
Even after you're gone.
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Alive With The Glory Of Love - Doctor/Rose fanvid

2008-01-05T05:04:53Z

Fandom: Doctor Who
Characters/Pairing: Doctor/Rose (focus on Ten/Rose)
Song: "Alive With The Glory Of Love" by Say Anything
Spoilers: through The Runaway Bride
Link: here

My first Doctor Who fanvid :) Hope you like it!

Heroes fanvid: All Of This Past

2007-10-28T02:45:13Z

I know I haven't posted anything Heroes-related lately, but part of that is because I've been working really hard on this. I'm really proud of this video, so I hope that you all like it!

Title: All Of This Past
Song: "All Of This Past" by Sarah Bettens
Characters: Claire-centric, focuses on her relationships with Peter, HRG, Zach, Jackie, West
Summary: Explores Claire's feelings of isolation and loss in season 2. She remembers the people and events that she is now supposed to forget.

Watch it here!

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Stakeout Mix

2007-10-25T01:53:39Z

Hey flist,

I really loved that Chuck made a Stakeout mix CD in the last episode and decided to start putting together my own mix with the one song we heard from Chuck's - "Private Eyes" by Hall and Oates - and other ones that I thought would fit. I have about ten songs so far, but I thought I'd ask for suggestions in case anyone had any great spying/stalking/stakeout type songs that they'd want to recommend. Even if you don't watch the show but have some ideas, let me know! I'll be sure to share after I finish.

Thanks. :)

Chuck fic: Two to Tango

2007-10-12T04:19:35Z

Title: Two to Tango
Fandom: Chuck
Characters/Pairing: Chuck/Sarah
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,387
Spoilers: through “Chuck vs. The Tango”

Summary: After Sarah views the security tape of Chuck’s dance with La Ciudad, an argument with Chuck becomes the outlet for her anger and a dance with him becomes the outlet for feelings she can’t admit to.

A/N: Takes place a few days after "Chuck vs. The Tango". I'm not usually this prolific, but I'm loving these characters. :) I hope you like it!

Two to Tango

Sarah didn’t know why it was bothering her, but days later she still can’t get the image out of her head. The image of Chuck and La Ciudad, closely entangled, dancing the tango. It was so stupid of him. Ridiculously stupid. She told him to stay where he was and, yet again, he didn’t.

Instead, he went straight up to that painting and La Ciudad went straight up to him.

When Sarah saw that on the security camera video tape she wanted to go to Chuck and yell at him. She didn’t sign onto this assignment to babysit a man who couldn’t follow directions.

Sarah liked Chuck, a lot, but there was no way in hell that she was going to let him endanger his life and hers over and over again by constantly walking into danger. He acted like this was all some sort of game. Like he was pretending to be James Bond…and doing it very badly.

She’d needed to tell him to stop saying that he was a spy, he’d spilled soy sauce on his shirt, and every once in a while he used cop show terminology like perp.

Casey told her that he’d even ordered a martini at the bar…shaken and stirred.

Chuck was no James Bond. Sarah knew that. That’s why she didn’t want him to go on the mission in the first place. Unfortunately, La Ciudad was more important than Sarah’s assertions that Chuck wasn’t prepared.

He didn’t have any field training – something that would have to be corrected soon – and was too valuable. Sarah knew that, but they wouldn’t listen. Ever since Bryce went rogue, her advisements didn’t hold much weight with her superiors.

They took Casey’s suggestion instead.

Casey and Sarah were told to bring “The Intersect” to the auction. “The Intersect”…like Chuck was a computer instead of a person. A completely unpredictable person.

“Hi, Sarah.”

His voice startled her, but she wouldn’t let herself show it. She dropped a batch of fries in the deep fryer and turned around.

“Hello, Chuck. What do you want?”

If Chuck’s expression was any indication, her tone had probably been a little harsh. His head was slightly tilted and his lips were pursed in confusion.

“Are you mad at me or something?”

“No. Of course not,” she replied.

He didn’t look like he believed her.

“’Cause things were fine a few of days ago, remember? We apprehended one of the world’s most elusive killers. You said I did a good job. What happened?”

“I reviewed the hotel security tape, that’s what happened.”

The anger in Sarah’s voice was biting and sharp.

“What security tape?” Chuck asked.

“The one where we got the picture of La Ciudad. I had a chance to look at it more closely.”

“So? We did a great job, you said so yourself.”

“That was before I saw you feeling up a notorious killer on the dance floor.”

From the look of Chuck’s wide-eyed expression, that was the last thing he’d been expecting her to say.

“What?” he said, voice soft and surprised.

Sarah was surprised as well. She hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. When she’d thought about yelling at him about this, it always centered on how he didn’t stay where he was told and how he put his life in danger.

Now, instead, all she could see when she thought about the tape was how their hands were all over each other – La Ciudad’s hands traveling down Chuck’s chest as he reached around to grab her ass, the joint swivel of their hips, and how at one point it looked like they kissed.

Chuck said he didn’t like PDA. If the hotel security tape was any indication, that was a complete lie. Or maybe he just didn’t like the thought of PDA with her.

“I told you to stay at the bar,” she finally said.

Chuck nodded.

“It all worked out okay,” he replied. He walked closer and put his hands flat on the countertop.

“You never stay where I ask you to,” she pointed out. “It’s dangerous.”

“I’m not a dog,” Chuck insisted, anger finally creeping into his voice. “You can’t just tell me to sit and stay. If I have to go on these missions, I want to help.”

“You do help,” Sarah said, her voice absent of the anger she’d been feeling ever since she saw the video. She sighed. “I know you’re not a dog, but you need to understand that the most important things sometimes is to stay put. You’re not trained to be a spy.”

“I know,” Chuck said. “I just…sometimes I feel so useless.”

“You’re not useless, Chuck.” Sarah put one of her hands on top of his on the countertop. He looked up and gave her a slight smile. “Sometimes you’re frustrating, but you’re not useless.”

“I didn’t even go very far,” he argued half-heartedly. “I was just looking at the painting.”

Sarah laughed.

“Just looking at the painting? You were practically making out with an arms dealer in the middle of the dance floor.”

Chuck pulled his hand away.

“Making out with her? Sarah, we were dancing the tango. The tango that Casey told me I had to learn. Plus, I didn’t know that she was La Ciudad at the time. A hot woman asked me to dance. Was I supposed to say no?”

Sarah wanted to say yes, but didn’t have any logical reason to tell him that he shouldn’t dance with other women or be attracted to other women. They weren’t actually dating.

“You were supposed to stay under the radar,” she said instead. “Not dance the tango.”

Chuck looked happy, not chastised, at her response. His lips curved up into a smile and his brown eyes focused on her.

“What?” Sarah asked.

“You’re jealous,” he said with a grin.

“I am not.”

He laughed.

“Chuck,” she said firmly, “that’s ridiculous.”

A slight smirk stayed on his face when he shrugged.

Sarah rolled her eyes.

“Just promise that you’ll try harder to stay out of trouble,” she asked.

“Sure, mom,” he said sarcastically, “I promise.”

“I mean it, Chuck,” Sarah said.

“I know,” Chuck nodded. “Sorry I danced with a murderer. I’ll try not to do it again.”

“Good.”

They smiled at each other and Sarah wondered why their fights always felt like sudden thunderstorms. The negative emotions came upon them quickly and disappeared just as fast, like flashes of lightening.

“Plus, she may have been a hot serial killer - ”

Sarah glared at Chuck, but he didn’t seem to notice.

“ – but the whole thing was pretty embarrassing. I don’t know how much of it you saw, but Captain Awesome only taught me the girl’s part of the tango.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the thought of Captain Awesome teaching Chuck the tango, or Chuck only learning the girl’s part of the dance, but Sarah burst out laughing.

“Oh, yeah,” Chuck said, “I’m glad this is funny for you.”

Sarah let the laughter roll over her with a sense of relief. She had been so focused on the position of Chuck’s hands in that video, but had failed to notice that those hands were playing the girl’s part. Somehow, and she wasn’t entirely sure why, the fact that Chuck’s dance with La Ciudad hadn’t been entirely smooth made Sarah feel better.

“It’s so nice that my embarrassing moments cause you joy. Thanks, Sarah, for that realization.”

She stopped laughing and leaned against the countertop.

“So you never learned the guy’s part, huh?” she teased.

“No,” Chuck admitted, “which is why I am never letting Captain Awesome teach me anything important ever again. Also, it probably means that the art auction was my one and only attempt at the tango.”

He hung his head slightly, put a hand down to lean against the counter, and gave Sarah a half-hearted smile. His fingertips were inches away from hers.

She could have made a joke, but all Sarah could think about was that Chuck had gone so much effort to learn the tango. He had learned it so that he could dance with her. Chuck Bartowski made a lot of mistakes, but she would never discount his efforts.

“That would be a waste,” she said. “You should learn the guy’s part. I’ll teach you.”

“Sarah, I don’t think - ”

She interrupted his protest by stepping out from behind the counter and grabbing his hand to pull him into the center of the room. His hand felt warm and moist in her own.

“Chuck, we never got to tango at the auction,” Sarah said. “You owe me a dance.”

She let go of his hand to push back tables and chairs so they would have some space to move. Sarah had been so focused on the mission the night of the auction that it didn’t occur to her until today how much she had wanted to dance with Chuck.

Sarah loved dancing. The loose movement and the rhythm of it gave her a freedom she didn’t normally feel in everyday life. She had danced with Chuck once before, but that was mainly for distraction purposes so she didn’t get to enjoy it. She wanted to dance with him once when their lives weren’t at stake.

“You really don’t have to, Sarah,” he said even as he pushed a chair behind him.

“Don’t worry Chuck,” she said as she walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, “It’s just a dance.”

Sarah brought her hand down to grab Chuck’s.

“This hand goes here,” she instructed as she guided his open hand to her waist.

His fingertips clenched slightly against the thin fabric of her uniform and Sarah placed her hand on his shoulder. Her other hand reached over to clasp his.

“Now, you have to do the opposite of what you were taught with your feet.” Sarah took a step forward until their bodies were almost touching. “When Captain Awesome told you to move backward, that’s when you’re supposed to move forward, towards me.”

Chuck nodded and took a step forward as she took a step back. His hand moved down from her waist to the rise of her hip and Sarah pretended not to notice.

“Good,” she breathed.

Slowly, Sarah walked Chuck through the movements of the tango and taught him how to guide her with the pressure of his hand on her body.

Aside from a few missteps where his feet ended up on top of hers, Chuck adapted to the new part faster than Sarah had expected him to. He pulled her closer to him and started to lead on his own.

“See, this isn’t so bad, is it?” she said with a smile before Chuck directed them into a slight turn.

“No,” he agreed, “it’s not bad at all.”

Chuck pulled Sarah closer until their bodies were touching. His eyes were focused and determined as they looked at her. Chuck started to move again and Sarah almost missed a step because she was looking at his expressive eyes. He seemed so much more confident dancing with her now than he was with her normally. It was a nice change, but it unsettled her.

He turned them once again and Sarah almost lost her balance when Chuck suddenly dipped her. His hand under Sarah’s back was strong and although the move had surprised her, she knew Chuck wouldn’t drop her.

She looked at Chuck and smiled softly at the grin on his face.

“It’s nice not be on the receiving end the dip for once,” he said.

“I can only imagine,” Sarah replied.

Their faces were inches away from each other and Sarah felt like this was one of those moments where, as Chuck had so succinctly put it a few days ago, they would be forced to kiss each other…if they were actually dating.

Chuck’s face leaned closer to Sarah’s and she began to rationalize it in her head: They were pretending to date so they’d actually have to kiss sometime in the future anyway. Maybe it was better to kiss here, alone, for their first time and then slowly overcome Chuck’s difficulties with engaging in public displays of affection with her.

Maybe she just wanted to see what it would be like.

Sarah began to tilt her head up when Chuck suddenly turned away.

“Do you smell something burning?” he asked.

Unfortunately, she did.

“Damn it!” Sarah exclaimed as she stood up and raced over to the deep fryer. She grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the burnt french fries out, cursing the fries and cursing this stupid cover position. “I burnt them again.”

She turned around to see that Chuck was checking his watch.

“Sorry,” he said, “I’ve got to get back to Buy More.”

“Oh,” Sarah said in response.

“Thanks for teaching me the tango. We should do it again sometime.”

“Definitely,” she replied as Chuck started to walk towards the door.

The air was full of lost possibilities, something that Sarah was getting quite used to these days.

“Hey Chuck,” she asked when his hand was on the door, “why did you come over here today?”

“I was on my break and just wanted to say hi.”

“Well, hi then,” she said with a smile.

“Hi, Sarah,” he said before pushing the door open and walking outside.

The bells on the door chimed as it closed and Sarah was left alone again. She could still feel the touch of Chuck’s hand on her hip and the sound of her name from his lips.

It was better that they had been interrupted, she told herself while she grabbed the burnt fries and tossed them into the garbage can. Kissing Chuck in private would only complicate matters. She needed to keep her job and protect her heart.

Of course, that didn’t stop Sarah from wondering what it would feel like to touch her lips to his. Maybe one day she would find out, but Sarah promised herself that when that day came she would kiss Chuck in public. If she could pretend it was all just an act, it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Sarah sighed deeply and grabbed a new batch of frozen fries, determined to start over and do it right this time.

-

A/N: I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Chuck and Heroes reaction post

2007-10-09T04:29:29Z

Yay for another night of my favorite night of television! Here's what I thought:

Chuck

How much do I love that this show actually gives me cute Chuck/Sarah moments? So much!

Chuck, I've decided, is basically the guy that want to find in real life. He's hot (but doesn't realize it), has a great sense of humor, is smart, sweet, and is just the right balance between geeky and normal. He's my new fictional boyfriend. I've broken up with Peter Petrelli (even though I still love him) because he's off in a boring storyline overseas.

I was glad to find out why Chuck got expelled, but I still think there's more there. Personally, I think his ex-girlfriend Jill could be a spy too and that's why her and Bryce went off together.

Casey has some really great lines, his sarcasm is pretty entertaining. I also liked his insinuations about Chuck and Sarah's "tryst"

Morgan is growing on me because he's such a great friend to Chuck. And because he's such a Chuck/Sarah shipper.

I felt so bad for Chuck in the whole Charles Carmichael speech because he's not where I wanted to be. Also, there were so many moments that I saw on the show where I thought - I want to write more Chuck fanfic! I'm obsessed.

It was hilarious and awkward that Captain Awesome taught Chuck how to tango...and taught him the girl's part.

During that tango scene I totally thought, what if Sarah watched that dance on the security cameras afterward? She would so be jealous.

I loved hearing all of Chuck's thoughts about the whole "relationship" with Sarah as he talked with his sister. Plus, yay that Ellie pointed out how Sarah looks at Chuck.

That last scene where Chuck says that if their relationship were real it would be a perfect moment to kiss was sooooo sweet and adorable! I loved it.

Heroes

So many things to say...

Peter still shirtless. Not that I'm complaining (I am definitely not), but when he lost his memory did he also forget that he normally wears shirts for more than two minutes at a time? You know, I'm cool with that.

I liked how Peter pointed out that he lost his memory but he's not an idiot, lol. And that scene where he was trying to get his powers to work was very Spiderman.

I can't believe he got that stupid Irish brotherhood tattoo. He barely knows those people. It was healing and disappearing when it turned into the Godsend symbol, right?

The Matt and Mohinder scene was great and my brother made some joke about how they're dating...which is really how those scenes play out.

Candice is back! Well, and then she's dead. Only, I sort of hope that my brother's theory of that being an elaborate illusion is true, even though I think it isn't. I loved how they brought Candice back because she's a great villain...and I have to say that one scene (where I felt like I slipped into the beginning of a Sylar-centric NC-17 fanfic) besides making me laugh out loud when she turned into Sylar, totally had me shipping Candice/Sylar before he killed her. Is there any fanfic for those two? There should be.

I am sick of that box. And the way everyone talks about it like it should be capitalized and in quotations..."The Box". It frustrated me that Peter didn't open it. Now I'm going to have to listen to people talking about it more.

The greenscreen scenes looked really fake-y tonight and that made me sad. Heroes, you have quality storytelling, why ruin it with below par special effects (esp. that West/Claire flying scene).

Speaking of West/Claire (my brother joked that he's going to end up being Claire's brother...which would totally be something the show would do), he needs to stop being such a creepy jerk. Every time I start liking him, he's mean and pushy or stalkerish. I understand that Claire's feeling lonely and isolated, but she fell for him way too quickly for him being the way he is.

Maybe it's because of my Paire shipper tendencies, but it seemed so blatant that the Peter (with Caitlin) and Claire (with West) makeout scenes were back to back. Caitlin is a pretty decent character (way better than West). I told my mom that I want the Peter in Ireland storyline to be over soon and she said "I think Peter's going to be back with Claire soon." She totally didn't mean it in a shipper way, but it made me smile.

Love Hiro sending notes back to Ando through the sword. That's awesome. I feel bad for the guy for having horrible luck in the love department though. And I was impressed that Kensei actually did something heroic and laughed when he said Hiro was his conscience.

That painting of HRG? He can't die! That would make me so sad. And who else was super creeped out by the fact that Claire was making out with West(?) over her dad's dead body? Yuck!

Okay, seriously going to sleep now.

Chuck fanfic: Can't Take The Sky From Me

2007-10-07T00:47:25Z

Title: Can’t Take The Sky From Me
Fandom: Chuck
Characters/Pairing: Chuck/Sarah
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,079
Spoilers: through “Chuck vs. the Helicopter”

Summary: Sarah shows up at Chuck’s home with Firefly DVDs, hoping to smooth over the after-effects of their first fight. While watching the television show with Chuck, she thinks about her (not remotely real) relationship with him and the mess that Bryce left her in.

A/N: Sequel to Fake Girlfriends and Fictional Sex and takes place after the second episode. It's Sarah's POV and a little more angsty. I hope you like it!

“Take my love. Take my land. Take me where I cannot stand.

I don’t care. I’m still free. You can’t take the sky from me.”

It wasn’t until Sarah rang Chuck’s doorbell that she started to seriously second guess showing up at his house. He should be the one to make some sort of grand gesture, first of all. He was the one who accused her of being an evil rogue agent. She’d asked him to trust her and he’d done the complete opposite. He’d trusted John Casey instead. It was another hit to her already tarnished self-esteem.

He had apologized. She would admit that. And it was a good apology, even if it did end with the embarrassment of people voluntarily eating her burnt Weinerlicious food. Chuck made her smile and laugh and she forgave him before she was completely ready to.

He had done so many things wrong. He destroyed her soufflé, believed it when Casey said she was the double, not stayed inside his house when she told him to, not left the warehouse when she told him to. He didn’t trust her. It was the one thing she had asked him to do.

Worst of all, he had accused her of being just like Bryce.

She’d forgotten that all too easily when Chuck came by to apologize. He charmed her with his easy smile and sweet apology. When Bryce betrayed her, she promised herself that she would never again let herself fall victim to a man’s charm. One apology from Chuck and she’d forgotten that promise.

Instead of distancing herself, she’d ended up here in front of his door with a DVD boxset of Firefly in her hand as a peace offering for a relationship that, as Chuck kept reminding her, was not remotely real. It wasn’t logical.

Sarah was about to turn around and leave when the door swung open.

“Sarah!” Ellie exclaimed. “I’m so excited that you’ve stopped by.”

Chuck’s sister had a giddy smile on her face and Sarah tried to mirror it.

“I’m here to see Chuck,” Sarah said.

Ellie’s smile got even wider. She turned away from Sarah and yelled back into the house.

“Chuck! Your girlfriend’s here!”

Ellie turned back to Sarah.

“You know,” she said, “It’s so great that you and Chuck worked things out. I’m really happy. He hasn’t had the best of luck and you’re just great –“

“Ellie,” Chuck interrupted, “Are you going to let Sarah inside?”

“Oh, sorry!”

Ellie stepped back and motioned for Sarah to come inside.

“I just - ” Ellie started before looking back and forth between Chuck and Sarah. “Nevermind. I’m going to leave you two alone. Sarah, it’s great seeing you again.”

Then Chuck’s sister was gone and Sarah was left alone with the man who would be her boyfriend…if their relationship was remotely real.

“Sorry about that,” Chuck said. “She’s a little overexcited because I have notoriously bad luck with women. The last time I had a girlfriend was Jill and Bryce stole her before getting me kicked out of school…”

Sarah was pretty sure that she should interrupt Chuck’s rant, but instead her thoughts drifted to Bryce. He never told her about a girlfriend named Jill. It was just another one of his many lies.

She blinked and looked up when she realized that Chuck had stopped talking and was just looking at her.

“Chuck?”

“I’m not supposed to talk about Jill. Ellie said it’s depressing. Sorry.”

Sarah wanted to joke that Ellie was right, but she couldn’t really take him to task about Jill when she’d been thinking about Bryce.

“So, why are you here?” he asked.

Sarah didn’t even know anymore. She didn’t need to be here. In fact, she probably shouldn’t. She was sent to protect Chuck Bartowski, not try to be his friend. She had rationalized it when she purchased the DVD at Buy More by saying that she needed to fix her relationship with Chuck. Now it seemed more likely that she was trying to fix herself.

It was true, what she’d told Chuck the first day they met. She didn’t know anyone here. All of her friends had been Bryce’s friends. She felt alone all the time, except when she was with Chuck.

Instead of mentioning any of that to him, she simply held up the DVD.

“I thought we should start with the TV show first.”

He looked at the DVD case and then back to her with a completely astounded look on his face.

“You came over to watch TV with me?”

She ignored his question and instead asked one of her own.

“Your room?”

“Sure, yeah, that’ll be fine…great.” He stumbled over the words as he directed her towards the back of the house.

Sarah flashed back to Chuck’s many comments about his lack of recent luck with women. This was a bad idea. She didn’t want him to jump to any assumptions about what their arrangement was. It wouldn’t be fair to him. He could only ever be her assignment…and fake boyfriend.

She had a lot of baggage to deal with and Chuck could never factor into the equation. Even if he had awkwardly mentioned on their first date that he could be her “own personal baggage handler.”

Sarah already made the mistake of mixing her professional life with her personal life once and look how that turned out. She thought she was in love with Bryce and he was only using her, sabotaging their missions, and making a fool out of her trust. She should have seen that he was a double. She’d been trained to notice inconsistencies and suspicious actions in a partner, but her feelings for Bryce had blinded her to everything.

She’d failed because she let her emotions get in the way. She failed herself, she failed the government, and she failed Chuck. It was her fault he was in this situation because she hadn’t stopped Bryce.

“Um, so here’s my room.”

Sarah followed Chuck into his room and looked around. There was nothing special about the room – a bed, television, desk, posters – but it was so very Chuck.

“I only really have the one chair, so - ”

“It’s okay,” Sarah interrupted. “We can sit on the bed.”

Sarah sat down on Chuck’s bed and moved back until her back leaned comfortably against the wall. She took off her shoes and stretched her legs out in front of her, crossing them at her ankles.

“Here are the DVDs,” she said as she held the case in her outstretched hand.

“Oh, yeah,” Chuck mumbled as he took them from her and put the first disc into the DVD player.

He grabbed the remote and took his black Converse off before sitting on the bed. He didn’t look over at her while went to the first episode and pressed play and Sarah noticed that he was sitting as far away from her as he possibly could. It looked like he was about to fall of the bed.

“There is more room you know,” she said, patting the vast empty space beside her.

Chuck looked down at her hand, back up to her, and then moved over a few inches. There was still a wide space between the two of them, which Sarah reminded herself was probably for the best, but at least he wouldn’t fall onto the floor.

The show started and Sarah slowly got drawn into the space western that Chuck had told her all about. She hadn’t thought she would like it, even when she went out and purchased a copy, but the characters appealed to her. Each of them had a past that affected their present. There were themes of loyalty and failure. Most of them were broken, just like her.

“Chuck,” she asked, “do you ever think about which character you’re most like in a show?”

“Careful, Sarah,” Chuck teased, “You’re starting to sound like someone who enjoys television.”

“I never said that I don’t enjoy TV,” she replied. “I said that I don’t watch much of it.”

“Well, we’ll just have to change that.”

Chuck grinned at her and Sarah couldn’t suppress a smile of her own. He said it like they were going to watch lots of television together. Like they were going to hang out.

It was completely ridiculous. There was a reason she never watched a lot of television. She never had time. That wasn’t going to change with this assignment. Except for maybe tonight.

And possibly during other non-dates if she needed to talk to him or hang out here to keep up appearances.

Sarah knew that she wouldn’t mind that at all. Hanging out with Chuck, when he wasn’t endangering their lives or the government’s secrets, was fun. He was a really sweet guy. A little geeky, but sweet.

“Yes, I do think about it sometimes,” Chuck said.

“Think about what?”

She’d completely forgotten what they were talking about. Chuck must have noticed the confused look on her face because he started to elaborate.

“Which character I’m most like…which characters the people I know are most like. It’s fun.”

“Who am I like then?” she asked.

Sarah waited while Chuck seemed to think it over and wondered what he’d say. So far, Sarah felt the most connection to the Captain. His desperation and sadness over the failure at the Battle of Serenity mirrored how she felt about her own failings in her job and with Bryce.

“You’re Zoe,” Chuck said eventually.

“Zoe?”

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re like Zoe. When there are bad guys you can kick their asses. You’re a strong person, and smart. You’re…”

His voice trailed off and Sarah realized that they’d leaned closer to each other over the course of the conversation. Sarah didn’t know what Chuck had been about to say, but part of her really wanted to hear him say it.

His eyes drifted down to her lips and she pulled away fast.

“Who do you think you’re most like?” she asked in an excessively cheery voice.

Chuck sighed and leaned back against his wall.

“Simon, probably. Miserable luck with women, a little out of place. Not on the run from the law or anything, though, so that’s good.” Chuck paused. “Wait, I am sort of on the run from people who want the secrets inside my brain. Definitely Simon.”

“Interesting,” Sarah replied, “I would have pegged you as more of a Wash.”

“Really?”

“You’re funny, Chuck,” she explained. “A good sense of humor in a dangerous situation is hard to come by. Plus, you were a pilot recently.”

“You’re not mad at me about that anymore?”

Sarah was about to say no, but she couldn’t lie.

“I’m still pissed at you, Chuck,” she said. “You didn’t listen to me and didn’t do the one thing I told you to do. For this to work, you have to trust me.”

He looked surprised, like he’d been expecting a sugar-coated response about how she was no longer mad. Sarah may have forgiven him, but she wasn’t through being upset about it. Every mistake he made put them both in danger. Every mistake he made reflected badly on her.

Before Bryce, she wouldn’t have worried as much about things like that. Now, though, it felt like she had to work twice as hard to be half as respected. Bryce was one mistake she’d have to keep on paying for.

“I trust you, Sarah,” Chuck said. “I’m sorry I didn’t before.”

Sarah nodded.

“I may be pissed at you,” she admitted, “but I’m still proud of how you landed that helicopter.”

Sarah leaned over to tap her shoulder against Chuck’s.

“Thanks,” he said.

They sat there quietly for a moment, shoulders touching, just like they had on the beach.

“Casey,” Sarah said to break the silence.

“What?”

“Which character is Casey?”

“That one’s easy,” Chuck replied. “Jayne. They’re both really scary and itching to shoot someone.”

Sarah laughed. “I definitely see that.”

“I’m glad you came over, Sarah,” Chuck said with a smile.

Bryce took everything from Sarah: her life, her home, her pride, and her faith in love. Sarah didn’t know how long it would take her to recover from all of that, but somehow being around Chuck helped. He made her smile and laugh in spite of everything else.

Chuck was her Wash.

“Me too,” she replied.

Although she knew she probably shouldn’t, Sarah leaned her head against Chuck’s shoulder. This relationship might not be remotely real, but it was the only one she had.

A/N: I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

I love Mondays

2007-10-02T04:23:59Z

I never thought I'd say that since it's always been my least favorite day of the week, but Chuck and Heroes have changed my mind. I look forward to Mondays now. Congratulations NBC.

Chuck

First off - Sarah is Chuck's fake girlfriend just like I wrote about in my fanfic! And there was a family dinner thing just like I had Chuck thinking about. That was awesome. I love when I write something and then it becomes practically canon.

In addition to that, I just thought it was a great episode overall. The recap in the beginning was done well. I loved that Sarah got a ridiculous job as well. And did I mention that Chuck and Sarah are pretending to go out!!! (Sorry, I just keep coming back to that)

I liked how the episode focused on trust and not knowing who to trust because I feel like that's gonna be a really big issue in this series, esp. also because Sarah asked Chuck to trust her at the end of the first episode.

I loved all the Sarah/Chuck moments. Seriously, this show makes me happy.

I feel bad for Sarah about the whole Bryce thing. Not only did he betray her and the country, her association with him has tainted the way people see her. There's all sorts of angst going on there.

And I don't like how Casey is supposed to "take care of" Chuck after the six months are up. Come on Casey, you know that you're not going to go through with it.

The whole Casey vs. Sarah thing was very exciting and amusing (I like how there's tension between the NSA and CIA), but I totally didn't expect the doctor to fake his own death. I totally thought it would be some third party.

That dinner party...well all I can say is that it's a good thing Chuck's sister knows he's a mess around girls because that was a disaster. Here's hoping I never have a dinner party like that...although if Chuck invited me, I'd totally endure one ;)

Props to Chuck for landing a helicopter! (and it was cute how he told Casey to put Sarah on the phone and she used video games to help him)

P.S. - Also, there was a Lost reference (Oceanic Air 815) when Chuck was remembering things!

Heroes

Obviously, I love this show too. So many things to say, I don't even know where to start (it's tougher to recap episodes when the show has a bazillion characters).

Claire, is definitely my favorite character, especially now that she's a science geek and wants to grow organs for people. That rocks. The whole toe thing was gross, though. And she shouldn't have been so vocal at Copy Kingdom. I wonder if the loss of her car was a high school prank or something more devious. What is that movie where the kids hide the new girl's car?

Love that West has the Activating Evolution book. Although, I do find it amusing that he can't pronounce Chandra Suresh's name. How difficult is it? Eden had trouble with it too. *shakes head* These people. I do wish West would stop peering into Claire's windows though.

Peter. I love him, and my brothers tease me about it, but that's okay. I loved how he phased through the bonds and I like how even though he can't remember who he is, he's still Peter who saves people and is "not a thief". The Irish storyline bugs me though (aside from Peter being all hot and shirtless, and Ireland being the setting). Why do the characters have to be stupid thugs? I mean, obviously Peter doesn't have the iPods. He was shirtless, handcuffed, and unconscious inside that shipping crate. Ugh. And Peter has powers, he totally could have just taken that box. This better have more of a point later.

Yay for Matt finally getting to do some stuff. I'm glad he's connecting up with some of the characters.

Mohinder getting his mind wiped...gotta say he asked for it by mentioning the Company. Silly Momo. It was cute when he tucked Molly in though.

It rocked when the Haitian showed up at Copy Kingdom - yes!

Can I just say how unbelievably happy it makes me that Isaac's paintings are still a part of the storyline?!

Um, did Angela say that she slept with Hiro's dad? Was not expecting that. My mom is still convinced Angela slept with Linderman. Maybe Nathan took after his mother in the sexual indiscretion arena ;)

It makes me so happy that Hiro is really the Takezo Kensei that he always looked up to. He is the hero he always looked up to. I totally predicted that before the season even started!

Yay for Mondays :)

Chuck fanvid - The Denial Twist

2007-09-29T03:49:09Z

Hey everybody! Here's something else for the shiny new ship I've gotten interested in. It's only clips from one episode ('cause there's only been the one so far), but I think it turned out really well. Hope you like it :) I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Title: The Denial Twist
Fandom: Chuck
Characters/Pairing: Chuck/Sarah, ensemble
Song: "The Denial Twist" by The White Stripes
Spoilers: Pilot episode

xposted at chucktv and dont_freakout

I heart The Office!

2007-09-28T04:09:46Z

Okay, so I watched the season premiere of The Office and...

Wow, that was amazing. If the season continues like this, it'll be the best one yet!

Jim and Pam were so cute and I loved how Kevin was speculating and how the camera crew showed them that they were caught on tape, but mostly I enjoyed the adorableness and the hand-holding. Awww!

Lots of humorous parts I loved that I can't even begin to list them all. Just, so great! And all the supporting characters are amazing - going out for beers during the race, feeding squirrels, joining cults, being concerned about nipple chafing...wow. And Pam buying a a sex tape at work. That was a shocker. Even for Fancy New Beesley.

I am constantly amazed by the depth of the Dwight/Angela storyline. It looks like they might be breaking up (rightfully so since he killed her cat). My mom is convinced Andy will try to hook up with Angela. I can see that happening.

Okay, there's so much more I could say, but I'm going to stop my babbling now. Hope all of you Office fans on my flist enjoyed it as well!

Oh, and I was really happy that people enjoyed my Chuck fanfic! Thanks to everyone that left me a review. :) This is my first time writing so soon after getting into a fandom and it was fun. Plus, it was Chuck/Sarah (quite possibly the first fic for them in existence) and they're so adorable. They're my newest ship. *g*

I might change the name of the fic though. I always do that, post something and then want to switch the name. Oh well.

Fake Girlfriends and Fictional Sex

2007-09-27T19:54:54Z

Title: Fake Girlfriends and Fictional Sex
Fandom: Chuck
Characters/Pairing: Chuck/Sarah
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,496
Spoilers: Pilot episode

Summary: In the evening after Chuck's life changed forever, he spends time with Sarah tailing a black SUV. They discuss Morgan's desire for details and the movie Serenity while Chuck tries to figure out where Sarah fits in his life.

A/N: I haven't seen any other Chuck/Sarah fic, so I had to write some for myself. I hope you enjoy it! Also, coincidentally, the Firefly/Serenity reference was in there before I even realized that Adam Baldwin plays Casey. So that was fun.

Fake Girlfriends and Fictional Sex

“So Morgan asked if we slept together and he wanted details…”

Chuck paused when he didn’t get any response from Sarah except for a sharp left at the yellow traffic light. He wondered if she ever drove carefully, like a normal person. Not that there was anything normal about Sarah Walker. She was hot, for one thing, and a secret agent for the U.S. government. She did things like leave him her phone number and point a gun at him. She thought he was funny. Most girls wouldn’t even look in his direction twice.

“You know,” he continued, “because I was out all night running from the NSA and diffusing a bomb with porn.”

“Oh,” Sarah replied without looking at him. “And?”

And?

When Morgan had asked him if he slept with Sarah, images had drifted across his mind in a rapid-fire series. It had been similar to, but not entirely like, drifting out of focus whenever images from that e-mail were triggered. Only the images that Morgan’s question triggered had nothing to do with national security and everything to do with Sarah.

He saw the way she had smiled at him when they first met, the confidence in her eyes when she mentioned never receiving a phone call from him, and they way she looked when he picked her up for their date. He remembered the lilt of her laugh and the way it felt easier on a first date with her than it ever had with Jill. He heard the soft tone of her voice when she said, “I like you Chuck.” The feel of her hands on his body when they danced. The fierce determination in her eyes when they were on the run from the NSA. The way her shoulder touched his when they sat side by side on the sand.

A couple of days worth of memories of her had flashed through his mind and it shook him. It was all lie. Everything she’d said to him about meeting with a realtor and wanting to go out with him. He knew it had to be too good to be true. That’s why he hadn’t called when she left her card.

But she came back and he began to hope that he really did have a chance with her. There might be something wrong with her to ask him out, he’d thought, but at least he had a chance. Turns out it was all because of Bryce and that stupid e-mail. Maybe she didn’t like him, didn’t think he was funny. He didn’t want to think they were lies, but they could have been. He was in a world of lies now.

So when Morgan had asked for details, Chuck lied. He could have come up with a fantasy built out of memories of Sarah’s touch and smile and laugh, but he kept it simple and believable.

“I told him that we slept together, but didn’t sleep together.”

Sarah nodded and took a quick right after the car that they were tailing. Chuck was surprised she was even listening at all, for all the reaction she was giving him. So he kept talking.

“I said that we fell asleep watching a movie at your place.”

“Okay,” Sarah replied.

“And he asked what movie and I didn’t know what kind of movies you might have, so I said that Serenity was on one of the movie channels and we watched that. Just in case Morgan says something. Which he probably will.”

“Serenity?”

“Yeah, it’s this sci-fi western based on a TV show called Firefly. The movie’s great, but the show’s actually even better.”

Chuck doesn’t know why he’s going on about Firefly, except that it’s calming to talk without having to think of how his life has changed forever. If he can think about fiction he won’t have to deal with the mess his real life has become lately. It’s all because of Bryce Larkin. The second time in his life Bryce has screwed him over. His roommate was always one to do things in a big way. Now Chuck is forced to lie to his best friend and his sister.

He can only tell the truth to Sarah and he’s not sure if he’ll get the truth back. “Trust me, Chuck,” she’d said earlier this morning at the beach. He wants to, but he’s not sure if he can. He’d seen a flash of something today when she walked past him in the store. He’s not sure if he can trust a girl with a gun…and knives…and poison hair accessories.

“Hmm…never heard of it. I don’t watch too much TV though.”

They stopped at a red light a few cars behind the black SUV they were trailing and for the first time in their conversation, Sarah turned to look at Chuck. She smiled at him in the evening light and he almost forgot that he was feeling nervous about her.

“You don’t listen to music, don’t watch TV…what do you do for fun?” he joked.

“I don’t have much time for fun, actually.”

She frowned and looked away, pushing the gas pedal harder than he thought she needed too.

“Yeah, saving the world is probably pretty time-consuming,” he teased, trying to get her smile back.

They drove in silence for a few miles. Chuck normally would have started babbling about something completely random (like Call of Duty) or inappropriate (like Jill), but he kept his mouth shut. They stopped at another red light. Sarah kept her eyes straight ahead, but opened her mouth to speak.

“Maybe we can watch that Serenity movie sometime,” she suggested.

“Really?”

Chuck sort of felt like he was being asked out on a second date. Except that the first one probably didn’t count because it was all about the computer in his brain. Maybe the second one wouldn’t count either, but that didn’t stop him from being happy about it.

“Yeah, I’ve got to know what it’s about now, don’t I?”

She looked at him and grinned. For the first time in this conversation, Chuck felt like grinning back. So he did.

“I think you’ll like it.”

Chuck wondered when they would watch the movie. And where. At her place probably. That made the most sense. He didn’t want to deal with Captain Awesome or Ellie’s concern or Morgan’s habit of showing up unexpectedly. He wondered where Sarah lived. He really didn’t know anything about her.

He should probably get to know things about Sarah if they were going to be spending all this time together. He might find a way to trust her if he knew more about her too. He knew she didn’t have a favorite band, but maybe she had a favorite color or season. He opened his mouth to ask, but a different question came out instead.

“So are you my fake girlfriend now, Sarah?”

He cringed at the way that sounded. It sounded embarrassing and juvenile, like he was ten years old.

It didn’t matter that he’d been wondering how to explain Sarah’s constant presence. Or that he wanted to figure out reasons to give Morgan when he had to go off on some secret mission with her. No, it just sounded like he was a kid trying to ask a girl to be his girlfriend…without actually asking her to be his girlfriend. They’d only been on one non-date.

Chuck looked over at Sarah. To his surprise, she was smiling.

“Sure, Chuck,” she replied. “I’d love to be your fake girlfriend. It’ll certainly make things easier.”

“Okay,” he said slowly, going through her answer again in his head to make sure he hadn’t misunderstood.

He looked at Sarah again. No, he hadn’t misunderstood. This beautiful and scary woman just agreed to be his fake girlfriend. Whatever that entailed.

All of their missions would be fake dates, probably. She might have to come over and meet his sister. They could have dinner or something. Sarah would probably do really well pretending to be his girlfriend at a family dinner. And then they could laugh afterwards about Captain Awesome.

“Just one thing,” Sarah said as she followed the black SUV into a parking lot and parked the car.

“What?”

Sarah undid her seatbelt and turned to face him. Her face was softly lit by the street lamps behind him.

“Morgan is always interested in the details, right?”

Chuck nodded.

“Well,” Sarah said, “let me know before you decide to break down and tell him about our fictional sex life. I’ll want to act properly affectionate when I visit you at work the day before.”

Sarah laughed lightly and exited the car. Chuck stayed glued to his seat as he tried to process what just happened. His hot fake girlfriend planned on having fictional sex with him. It may all be a lie, Chuck thought, but it was a pretty awesome one.

Not awesome, he corrected. That was a completely over-used adjective.

This lie was amazing.

A/N: I look forward to hearing what you thought!

Oh my god! (Heroes speculation)

2007-09-25T06:22:55Z

I can't believe this didn't occur to me earlier!

I noticed whose necklace Peter was wearing when I saw the ep, but I just now made the connection...

The mind-wiping Haitian is probably why Peter has amnesia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heroes reaction post

2007-09-25T05:48:09Z

My thoughts (well, some of them anyway):

- I loved how Matt is taking care of Molly! And that obviously they and Mohinder live like a happy little family when Mohinder's not out tricking the company (yes! I'm glad you're working with Bennet, Mohinder!) and Molly's not having super creepy nightmares

- Someone's killing off the older generation of people with abilities...I'm intrigued

- Love that Ando and Hiro's dad have been hanging out...and that Ando bumped into Nathan at Kirby Plaza

- HRG is awesome and seeing him work in that copy place sort of reminded me of Office Space or something

- West, though I liked his random robot or alien theory, is super creepy. I was trying to give him a chance, but I'm sorry, he's totally a stalker. It would have been one thing if that scene had been at school, but he was staring into her bedroom window. Yuck.

- I loved how Claire called Nathan and they talked about how they missed Peter. AWWWWW!

- Nathan's burned face in the mirror...Does that mean he really looks like that and what we're seeing is some sort of illusion?

- Also, two marriages have broken up (Matt's and Nathan's). Makes sense, but it's sort of sad.

- Yay that Matt finally got to be a detective (even though he did "cheat")! Plus, that scene was cool with the fake hostage situation

- Maya and Alejandro seem interesting so I approve of them. Plus, it was cool how they were introduced in the graphic novel before the show. (If you don't read the online Heroes graphic novels, start now!)

- Poor Peter lost his memory! That makes me sad. I think the Haitian might've had something to do with it though, considering he's wearing the Haitian's necklace (weird that the Haitian would give it to him, though, considering his one of the only things he has left from his father).

- I like how Ireland is represented (I heart Ireland), but I'm not sure how I'll feel about the plot of them beating Peter up.

- I felt so sad witnessing Hiro's disillusionment of Kensei (who I'm still thinking of as Sark). What I would love to happen is if Hiro becomes the Kensei of the stories. Not sure if that idea will still happen though, considering Hiro already messed with events.

- Claire is totally one of my favorite characters and I just loved her in this episode. She's trying to do what her dad told her to so they can stay safe, but she doesn't want to hide who she is anymore. She's smart (yay Darwin!), stands up for her badminton partner, and calls Nathan to talk about Peter. Too bad her potential love interest is a creepy stalker.

- Liked the continuity of Mrs. P. still saying that Nathan should've let New York blow up and Nathan telling his mom that she's evil

Um, that's all I can remember for now...so looking forward to next week!

"Superhero" is a trademark?

2007-09-21T02:25:23Z

Add this to the list of things that I had no idea about:

The word "superhero" is a trademarked term. The trademark has been co-owned by Marvel and DC Comics since 1966. Bizarre. And here I thought it was just a normal generic word.

Here's a link to the article.

Unbelievable.

Chuck

2007-09-18T20:20:27Z

Has anybody else seen the Chuck pilot yet? I just watched it and I have to say that I'm definitely adding it to my list of shows to watch this fall. The lead is a cute computer geek who ends up inadvertently becoming a spy. I love that I have another fun spy show to watch (I was a diehard Alias fan back in the day).

Here's the trailer for the show in case you haven't seen anything about it yet:

Okay, back to writing.

The Office deleted scenes

2007-09-13T22:44:38Z

"What is a leader? I asked Jim that and he said he'd never heard the word before. In America. In 2007.
He said he knew the word ladder. What an ignoramus."
- Dwight Schrute

I love the deleted scenes in The Office with my whole heart. The Office has the best deleted scenes out of any show, in my opinion. It's sort of like getting extra episodes. What with moments like Angela keying Andy's car and Michael accusing Andy of having a crush on Dwight, it's great. There are a lot of awesome moments with the minor characters.

Heroes fic: The Place Between Dreams And Waking

2007-09-06T16:11:17Z

Hey everybody! I let myself take a slight break from academia to finish up a story that's been laying around half-finished on my computer for over a month. I hope you like it!

Title: The Place Between Dreams And Waking
Pairing: Peter/Claire

Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 1,368

Summary: Claire loses herself in a dream about man she can never have.

A/N: Can be read as a standalone, but is part of my Unrelated series. It’s a prequel to We Were Never Good At Being Uncle And Niece, so Peter and Claire aren’t related, but they don’t know that yet.

The Place Between Dreams And Waking

She dreams of his kiss and wakes up still feeling the pressure of his lips on hers. It’s torture of the worst kind. He’ll never kiss her when she’s awake and she’s not even supposed to want him to. They’re family – technically – and it’s the most screwed up thing Claire’s ever known.

She raises her fingertips to her mouth and tries to touch the feeling of her dream. She trails her middle finger against the seam of her smile and her skin tingles at the contact.

Claire closes her eyes and tries to fall back into the dream, grasping at wisps of sleep as they fade away from her.

They were sitting outside somewhere, she remembers vaguely, at a park...maybe there was a lake.

There was a wooden bench, she’s sure of that. They were sitting on it and facing each other. The arm of the bench dug into her lower back.

She tries to fill in the details - what she was wearing, what he was wearing, what they talked about – but it’s all a blur of love and want and laughter.

He told some stupid joke that she can’t remember and she lightly hit him on the arm. He smiled at her and that smile is the clearest detail in a dream that’s quickly fading.

She fills in missing bits of dialog for a conversation they never had.

"You look nice, Claire.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.”

She imagines scooting closer to him and resting a hand on his shoulder as she leans against the back of the bench. He was wearing a sweater, maybe, and she can feel the texture of wool underneath her palm.

“What are we going to do tonight?”

He brushes his hand down her bare arm before answering.

“Whatever you want.”

She laughs in delight and he leans in to kiss her. His lips slide across hers like they’ve done it a million times before and she turns to press him back against the bench. She slides one leg over one of his until she’s partially straddling him.

He laughs and the vibrations roll along her skin.

“Like being in charge, Claire?”

“Sometimes a girl needs to have control of her own life, Peter.”

If Claire can’t have control in her waking life, she’s certainly going to have it in her dreams and fantasies. Especially in her dreams. She can’t be blamed for the direction her thoughts go when she’s asleep.

If she keeps her eyes closed and doesn’t focus too much, she can pretend that she’s still asleep and this fantasy is just a continuation of dream. Just another weird dream about making out with Peter on a bench in a park. A really hot dream about making out with Peter on a bench.

“Your wish is my command.”

He grabs her hips as she presses him against the bench. Her hands go up to his hair and she reveals in the softness of it. It should be illegal to have hair that soft. Claire raises herself up on her knees until she’s positioned above him and Peter leans his head backwards to look up at her.

She remembers the way he smiled at her. In her dream and her attempt to recapture it, that slightly crooked smile seems so real that she wonders briefly if Peter picked up another ability she doesn’t know about. If he could visit her in her dreams…

“You’re beautiful.”

He whispers it gently and she wants to ask him to repeat it until she believes it, but she leans down to press a kiss to his cheek instead.

He grins and moves his head down so that he can kiss her collarbone.

Claire sighs in bed and moves her hand to touch the position that Peter’s dream lips occupy. She moves her fingertips in slow circles and imagines that it’s the path of his kisses.

When his lips move across her skin to her bare shoulder, her fingers trail in his wake.

He said beautiful, gorgeous things against her skin in the hours before waking, but the words have slipped away so Claire fills in the blanks.

“So long.”

He mumbles against her cheek and Claire forgets that the breath against her skin isn’t really there. She ignores that Peter’s lips will never touch her own. It was a long, wonderful dream and there’s no sense in letting it slip away before she’s really had the chance to enjoy it.

“Missed you. Miss you all the time.”

Her hand reaches over to stroke the pillow, but she lets herself feel Peter’s hair instead of soft cotton.

“I miss you too. Always.”

Claire sighs and hugs him on that bench in her dream. She clings to him tightly in a way that she never can, and can never even consider doing, once she’s awake. She kisses his cheek and forehead and lips. He clings to her as desperately as she does to him and kisses her back with a ferocity that astounds her, even though she knows it’s just a combination of her imagination and subconscious.

In her dream, she remembers, there were confessions of love and promises of forever. They were lovely, but idealistic. Now, though, Claire pushes forward in her fantasy because she can feel it slipping away. She craves the closeness and the passion that she will never get from him. She kisses him until it feels like an adventure, and forgets that she’s really lying in her bed alone.

Idealism is for the lucky few and Claire has to make do with what she’s got: stolen dream moments with a man she can never love in the harsh rays of daylight.

His hand, and her hand, slide under shirt hems to press against skin. The touch is thrilling and Claire wishes that it was real.

Peter’s other hand slides up to her neck and he draws her into a deep, heartbreaking kiss. Claire presses her hips against his on that dream bench and loses herself in the feel of him.

“Claire.”

He says her name against her lips and she knows that she would do anything to be with him, even beg.

“Peter, please…”

The shrill ring of her cell phone cuts off Claire’s half-formed request. She gropes for the phone on her nightstand and flips it open as she sits up in bed and drags her fingers through her hair.

“Hello?” she mutters, forcing open her eyes and trying to wake up, but wishing to god that she could go back to sleep.

“Claire?”

His low voice runs though her and Claire’s hand raises automatically to touch her lips.

“Peter?” she questions.

Her voice comes out husky and seductive, and it’s not at all how she meant to say his name.

“I woke you up,” he says.

It’s a statement, not a question. She nods before remembering he can’t see her.

“Just dreaming,” she replies before she can censor herself.

“Anything interesting?”

Claire thinks about the park bench, cool breeze, and green grass. She remembers passionate kisses and declarations of love. In an ideal world she would tell him all about it.

Unfortunately, the world she lives in is anything but ideal and Peter can never know how she feels about him.

“No,” she finally replies in answer to his question. “Just a beautiful day at the park.”

“God,” he sighs, “It’s been forever since I’ve been a park. Living in New York is all buildings and concrete.”

“There is Central Park,” Claire teases. “You know, that big area with all the grass.”

Peter laughs and Claire has a flash of green and wood and soft wool sweaters.

“Maybe we should go there some afternoon,” Peter suggests, “before it gets too cold.”

“I’d like that.”

The conversation transitions to family dinners and stupid political fundraisers and ideas for Simon’s birthday. Claire listens halfway and leans against the headboard of her bed. She makes a few comments here and there, but mostly finds herself lulled by the sound of Peter’s voice. She thinks about the promised afternoon in Central Park and lets her mind wander, for once without self-reprimand, to the fantasy of a happy ending.

A/N: Comments are greatly appreciated!

Nathan Petrelli makes me laugh

2007-09-05T20:13:05Z

Oh my gosh, Nathan Petrelli, you slay me. I'm watching the uncut pilot and this is his line after his mother steals socks:

"Thank god mom's fine. She's a criminal, but she's fine. Next thing you know she's going to be telling us she's a crack whore."

*g*

I sort of wish they'd kept that in.